May 23, 2022
The lizards are out in full force in my Florida neighborhood, clinging upside down on tree trunks, lurking immobile on the begonias, skittering rapidly across the sidewalk as I walk the dog. Seeing them reminds me of one of the pleasures of the natural world which I can’t get from the amazing quality of animal images streaming on our TV screen: the pleasure of being aware of living organisms nearby who are simultaneously aware of the living organism that is me. Many creatures notice our physical presence as soon as we experience theirs, and this adds to the delight of seeing them.
The same thing happens with other persons: You and they are mutually aware of each other’s presence. However, the experience of the presence of another person—for example, of a friend I have known for years—can be more than an experience of mere physical proximity.
If you happen to be in line at the grocery store with my good friend who is a stranger to you, you are both there and together but hardly present to each other the way I and my friend would be. My friend and I have a long history together and know each other’s characters and personalities—a shared history and knowledge absent from your perspective. I can’t tell my story without telling his story. But for you he’s just another temporary element in your life and you will probably forget him before you walk out the door. The only sense in which he is somebody to you is trivial, but to me and my life he is an essential source of friendship.
So, for friends and other persons we value, the experience of being in their presence is always enhanced and enriched by their presence in our past lives.